She’s Still In There

Being a mother can have so many iterations.  You can be a mother to humans, fur babies, plants…  Hell, sometimes we even mother our own parents.  But no matter what, we are all mothers to our own inner child.

See that chubby-cheeked beauty rocking the Dorothy Hamill?  That’s me.  

Lately, when my inner judge berates me for making a mistake, not knowing something, or being out-of-shape, I look for that picture.  And it gives me pause.

I can be so hard on myself, but I’ll do just about anything for my children. 

That little girl, my younger self… she still lives within me.  She’s my child too. I would never tell her what the judgy-ass voice in my head tells me.  I only want to encourage her, support her, and make her laugh (because she can take life a little too seriously!). She’s innocent and hopeful.  By this age, she’s already learned to be a people-pleaser and strive for perfection, so I want to soften that in her.  She loves to learn and try new things and experiences. 

I want to give her all of that. 

Her life lies ahead of her, and I don’t want to let her down. By cultivating a sense of security and reassurance in her, I am reparenting my inner child in the way that she needed and didn’t always get.  And in doing so, I am bringing newfound awareness to my adult self, her beliefs, and choices.

I’ve noticed that since spending time with this photo, I’ve been giving myself more free time and feeling less guilty about it.  I even left work early one day to take myself to a movie!  Shhh! Don’t tell.

I’ve also been able to laugh at my mistakes.  And I’ve been following my intuition more. Overall, I’ve just been more relaxed and a little more forgiving, allowing myself to just be instead of always crossing a task off a list.  

Because every time I soften toward myself—she feels it.

And every time I tear myself down—she hears that too.

So I’ll offer this to you: What if you treated yourself the way you would treat her?

Because the way you speak to yourself matters. It shapes how you show up. It shapes how you feel. And whether you realize it or not—it shapes the way others experience you, too.

Maybe it’s not about becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s about finally being the one who takes care of you.